Defining the In Business For Life company: Liberally Seeking and Offering Forgiveness (part 2 of 2)

By Brad Lindemann

The following is an excerpt from from Brad Lindemann’s forthcoming book, In Business For Life: What Being In Business For Life Has Taught me About the Business of Life.  Sign up for news and updates from PumpJack.me Thought Leader Marketing and Brad Lindemann.

What about the reverse situation when you see yourself as the offending party, but the offended one doesn’t necessarily see it that way? Or, they’re simply not aware of what you did? Like before, the path to forgiveness may require at least two steps. The first step is confession. You start by letting the other party know what you did or clarifying that you think what they know you did was wrong. Then, and perhaps after some time has passed, you can seek their forgiveness if it hasn’t already been offered. You’ll need to be discerning in these situations to know how much progress towards full relational healing you can make in one exchange.

Recall my story of being ruthlessly fired in 1989 by my former employer, then receiving a cold-hearted letter from the CEO shortly thereafter. I’ve struggled mightily with forgiving that CEO over the years. I can’t honestly say I fully have. To this day, I’m sure he would dismiss the notion that he’d done anything wrong to me. Worse, were I to approach him, he’d likely reopen the wounds he inflicted 27 years ago and add some fresh ones.
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If you, like me, need to forgive someone who’s hurt you deeply but believes they’ve done nothing wrong, then do just that. Forgive them. There are three practical steps you can take that may help.

• First, ask a trusted to friend to be a surrogate for the offender. Tell the surrogate how they hurt you and how it made you feel. Then forgive them with no strings attached.
• Second, do the same thing by writing a letter to the offender, but don’t send it.
• Third, take your pain to the One who has forgiven you for every wrong you’ve ever done or ever will do. Exchange your pain for the forgiveness that He freely gives, then in prayer and in your heart, offer it to your offender...no strings attached.